LINK OF THE DAY 8/31/09: KEN ASSUMES THE POSITION….

Today, I decided to play internet slueth and trace the origin of the well-worn phrase “When you assume, you make an ASS ot of YOU AND ME.”

It is such an obvious phrase, that it is really not capable of being credited to some definate source – so I tried to find its first appearance in popular culture. I am assuming that the phrase became widely known and used after appearing on the hit comedy “THE ODD COUPLE” on February 16, 1973. The phrase here is delivered with great zeal by Tony Randall in a courtroom scene that is remarkably similar to an experience I had in San Antonio Texas during a mock trial competition. And yes, I know that by assuming I making myself into something of an ass… But, without further ado, I present to you what I believe to be (yes, that’s even stronger than an assumption) the phrase’s first apperance in the Zeitgeist. Enjoy!

 

 

ASSUME THE POSITION!

Link of the Day 8/30/09

The other day,Jill at  List Love  posted a list entitled “12 Words That Sound Gross (But Really Aren’t)”.  As a lover of lists, I felt compelled to respond…

You can read my list here:

http://listlove.wordpress.com/2009/08/30/12-beautiful-words-meaning-something-horrible/

LINK OF THE DAY – 8/28/09

As I contemplate my planned career as a trial attorney, this collection of  ridiculous statements made in open court gives me faith that I will not make an enormous fool of myself.

http://rinkworks.com/said/courtroom.shtml

ON BEING CARLESS IN LOS ANGELES – Part One: The Mysterious Sleeping Koreans

 One of the “advantages” to not owning a car in Los Angeles is getting out there and seeing what really goes on in your neighborhood.  On my walk to the post office this afternoon, I noticed something quite interesting as I walked south from 4th Street down Kingsley drive.

 Actually, I noticed TWO interesting things.  The first, being what the gentleman in the purple shirt had chosen to rent at the local video store…

17 Again????  Apparantly Zac Efron’s fanbase is even  greater than I suspected.  But, I digress.  The truly interesting thing I noticed on my walk was that, for some mysterious reason, Korean Men enjoy sleeping in their cars.   In the space of one block I observed this odd phenomenon no less than three times.   Upon my first sighting, I didn’t think too much about it.  I have seen people sleeping in their cars before.  I thought to myself, “perhaps he locked himself out of his apartment,” and continued on my journey.

Just a few steps further, I had my second sighting.

My curiousity was aroused.  But then I considered the fact that this slumbering gentlemen was in a taxi.  Perhaps he was on his break, or waiting on a fare.  I was not quite ready to declare to myself that I had uncovered some sort of anomoly and, once again, continued down the street.  Just three, maybe four, healthy strides later it happened yet again…

At this point there was no denying that I had stumbled upon what is, to my knowledge, an undocumented cultural quirk.  Korean men apparantly like to sleep in their cars.  And it did not stop there.  On my walk to and from the post office, I encountered six more “sleepers”.  On each and every shaded street, I found at least one.  All of them had the engine running, with the air conditioning presumably on.  Not only did I find a total of nine “sleepers”, I found two men reading, and one surfing the web.  As I stood in line at the post office, my $150,000 education kicked into gear and it occurred to me that there was only one plausible explanation for what I had just witnessed.  Air conditioners are expensive, and so are bills from LA DWP.  Temperatures today reached into the mid-nineties, even here in Koreatown.  Rather than suffering the day away inside stuffiy apartments or rushing off to the Home Depot and dropping a few hundred bucks on a window mounted A/C unit, I suppose these men decided to seek comfort in their climate controlled autmobiles.   Not such a bad idea.   Now if I only had a car to sleep in…

SOMEONE TRIES TO SCAM KEN – GOOD IDEA?

So, after much soul searching, I decide to sell my beloved 1985 Cadillac Seville.  I placed an Ad on Craigslist, and received a few legitimate inquiries.  I also received this seemingly innocent (though grammatically disastrous) e-mail:

 1985 CADILLAC SEVILLE – $500 (Koreatown)

  larry pual <l********@gmail.com>

Monday, August 24, 2009 3:22:21 PM

To:k*******@yahoo.com

 Hello
      Am lardy, i saw your advert on craigslist and am interested in
it,may i know if the item is still available,the condition and the
last asking price.
Thanks
  regard.

 Naturally, I was intrigued.  I did not save my exact response, but I informed “Lardy” of the condition of the car and the amount I had paid for it.  His response:

Re: 1985 CADILLAC SEVILLE – $500 (Koreatown)

“ll**********@aol.com” <l*********@aol.com>

Tuesday, August 25, 2009 1:08:38 AM

To:k**********@yahoo.com

Am ready for its purchase and my form of payment will be by sending you Check with a 1st class mail delivery via Fedex/UPS Courier Service  which delivers next day.i want you to understand  that the excess found on the payment is for the shipper that will come for the pick up of the item, so as soon as you got the check,you have to take it to your bank and cash,so after you have cashed the check you will deduct your asking prices and the $100 for keeping the item and  you will get the rest of the found to the shipper that will come for the pick up, i will want you to get back to me  with the details that i will mailed out the payment such as:

 (1) Full Name
(2) Mailing address,city,state and Zip(not P.O Box)
(3) Phone Number Home and cell
(4} Final asking price
{5} Acceptance of my offer

 I will be looking forward to your urgent response to my mail and i will like you to know that i have a private shipping company am willing t read back from you…

 Please note that “Lardy” had magically switched to an “AOL” account overnight.  Also note that in “Lardy’s” world, FED-EX and UPS are apparently the same company.  At this point, I was more than a little suspicious.  I did find it interesting that “Lardy” specifically asked for a formal “acceptance” of his “offer.”  Since he was speaking “contract” language, I decided to play along.  I sent “Lardy” an e-mail requesting “certain and definite” terms.  Specifically, I inquired into the name of his “private shipping company,” whether his payment would be via personal or cashier’s check, and when would pick-up be arranged.   The response:

 Re: 1985 CADILLAC SEVILLE – $500 (Koreatown)

“l************@aol.com” <l*********@aol.com>

Tuesday, August 25, 2009 2:21:22 PM

To:k**********@yahoo.com

 Thank you for your reply, i want you to understand that as soon as you get the shipper money to them the fast they come for the picked up, kindly get back to  me with your details such as

 Name

Address(not POBOX ADDRESS)

City

State
Zipcode

 Thank you

 I was flattered that “Lardy” thanked me not just once, but twice.  And this time, he only wanted my address and not my phone number.  He also backed off on using the word “acceptance”.  Hmmmm….  I replied asking for virtually the same information as before.  This time, I got no “thank-you”—just a simple response of:

Re: 1985 CADILLAC SEVILLE – $500 (Koreatown)

“l**********@aol.com” <l**********@aol.com>

Tuesday, August 25, 2009 2:28:25 PM

To:k**********@yahoo.com

 cashier’s check

 Oh, “Lardy!”  I think I must have upset him!  I responded as follows:

 Re: Re: 1985 CADILLAC SEVILLE – $500 (Koreatown)

k**********@yahoo.com

Tuesday, August 25, 2009 2:28:25 PM

To: “l**********@aol.com” <l***********@aol.com>

Dear Lardy,

 I am considering you offer.  However, I would prefer that the cashier check be sent to your shipping agent, who could then pay me in cash when they come to pick up the vehicle.

 Please advise if these terms are acceptable.

 Best,

 Ken

 The Response:

Re: 1985 CADILLAC SEVILLE – $500 (Koreatown)

“l*********@aol.com” <l************@aol.com>

Tuesday, August 25, 2009 2:50:01 PM

To:k**********@yahoo.com

 Though i should have come over and take a look but i am out of town for my (honey moon) So with every description you gave me, I believe you.Also, its my first time transacting on craiglist,i really don’t know how it works but I will be sending you payment right away via cashier’s check, please the shipper don’t accept the mode of payment that why am asking you to help me  with this…….

 I need you to get back to me with your*

 Full name===?
Full mailing address (not p.o box)=====?
The final asking price====?*
valid phone number====?*

 The last shot:

Re: Re: 1985 CADILLAC SEVILLE – $500 (Koreatown)

k**********@yahoo.com

Tuesday, August 25, 2009 2:50:01 PM

To:  “l**********@aol.com” <l**********@aol.com>

 Dear Lardy,

 Congrats on your recent wedding!  Wow, you must really like old, broken down mid-80’s luxury vehicles!  If it were my honeymoon, the last thing I would be thinking about would be purchasing a broken down vehicle.  Since you are a “newcomer” to craigslist, please understand my apprehension regarding your proposed transactions.  Less honest individuals than you sometimes contact people selling cars and offer to buy the vehicle for more than the asking price, provided that the seller hand over some of that extra cash to the shipping agent.  I am sure that this is just some kind of funny coincidence! LOL!!!!!

 Since your “shipping agent” cannot accept a cashier’s check, I would be happy to provide you with contact information for a number of shippers who, remarkably, DO accept money directly from the person seeking their services. 

 If you are still interested in the vehicle, I can accept a wire transfer, or even pay pall!  Yes, I am that flexible.  If you agree with my additional terms, please contact me ASAP with:

Full Name=============(If you have one)

Full Mailing Address=====(not a p.o. box, embassy, or jail cell)

Your final offer price=====(e.g. how much are you actually sending via your bogus cashier check?)

Valid phone number=====(including the country code….  I am guessing West Africa or Korea.  Am I right???? LOL!!!!)

 Again, have a nice (honeymoon) – please buy your lucky wife a drink (Just not on me, ok!)

 Best regards,

 Ken

 I am still waiting for a response……………………